I left my light on today.
I was rushing out of the house this morning and I left my light on today. I got outside to the car and I look up and I realize that my light in my bedroom was still on.
I’m the type of person that does not like to be rushed. I like schedules and structure and I like things to go in a particular order, in a particular way. So much so that in the morning when my daughter and I are getting ready for our days, I have an alarm set for everything. There is an alarm for us to wake up, an alarm for when it’s time to get dressed, an alarm for when it’s time to eat breakfast, an alarm for when it’s time to brush teeth and an alarm for when it’s time to leave the house. However, for some reason, WE CANNOT MAKE IT OUT OF THE ON TIME!
Everyday, every SINGLE day, we are rushing. Rushing to get out of the house, into the car, to the bus stop and off toward the rest of our day. That type of rushing makes me very anxious, makes me nervous, makes me stressed, makes me unsettled. And today, I left my light on! So not only am I rushing, not only am I already behind MY SCHEDULE, not only am I short on time, but NOW I’ve left my light on! Talk about stressed, talk about irritation, talk about anxiety, talk about GRRRRRRR! At this point, I don’t have time to go back in and turn my light off because I’m already way behind schedule.
As I was driving to work after my daughter got on the bus (thankfully we didn’t miss it), I began to listen to what God had to say. I prayed that God would help me to not be anxious today and to settle down. One of the things I heard Him say to me so very eloquently in His God-like fashion, was this simple scripture: “Many are the plans of a man but in the end, the plans of the Lord will prevail” (Proverbs 19:21- BBT*)
I started to think about my life and how I’m a Type A personality *gasp* Big surprise. I know. I am the type of person that likes to have a plan. And there’s nothing wrong with having a plan, but there’s a difference between having your own plan and being married to it and seeking God’s will for your life. I’ve been the type to create my own plan and then I’d ask God to bless it. I would say okay God, at this time in my life, I want this to happen, and then at this time this needs to happen, then after that, this needs to happen. And by this time, this will happen. Who am I to tell God when things will happen? Who am I to tell God what He’s going to do and when He needs to do something when I don’t have the ability to see the end from the beginning?
God is showing me that this personality trait of being a Type A control freak (that’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s true) has affected so many areas of my life. It even affects how I view Him and my relationship with Him. God is teaching me that it’s okay for things to not go according to plan. It’s even okay for me not to have a plan because He always has one and I just need to trust Him. He has it mapped out and He sees the end from the beginning. He’s showing me that I don’t have to be in control because He’s in control of every detail of my life. I don’t have to stress out at all. It’s okay when the schedule is thrown off. I don’t have to become anxious.
I left my light on today. Just as a reminder that He’s in control and I’m not.
What are some areas that you find you need to trust God? Are there areas where you are a control freak like me? Or how did you overcome them? Share in a comment! I really want to hear from you!
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*BBT-Blossoming Brittany Translation. Sometimes I quote scripture from memory and make my own translation but stay true to what it really is saying. I just mix up words!