For the last few years, God has been telling me who He made me to be and what He called me to do. I’ve known for a while that He called me into ministry. And the things He’s shown me for my life are big. Like huge! Things I never could have imagined being used for, God has called me to do. He called me to spread the gospel, to preach to others, to write books and so much more.
But when you look at my life’s resume, I’m so far from qualified. I’ve done so much dirt in my life that is unbelievable. Add to that my lack of qualifications. Being 100% honest, I’ve struggled to have the faith in God that I need to carry out the tasks He’s handed me.
For years I ran from His call. I wanted to believe that He called me but in my mind, it seemed so laughable. It was almost like I was split in two; I wanted to believe God, but I couldn’t. I knew I should believe God, but I know myself. I know what I’m capable of and what I’m not, and quite frankly, I just didn’t have enough faith to believe God when He said it. So I didn’t do anything. I just sat on the ideas and dreams because I couldn’t believe that God really would use me. My faith wasn’t strong enough.
This makes me think of Sarah, Abraham’s wife. When the Lord came to visit Abraham and Sarah, they were old. Not just fake old, but OLD old! And I’m sure they had tried for many years to conceive, but her womb was barren. Based on all the facts, there was no way she could have a child.
One day, when Abraham was minding his own business, he received a heavenly visit. And in customary fashion, Abraham wanted to be a proper host. He asked Sarah to make them a meal. While Sarah was cooking, the heavenly messenger (scholars say that Abraham actually received a visit from the Lord, the Christ. After all, He existed before the manager. ref John 1:1) told Abraham that he would have a son of his own.
Sarah, being the woman that she was, was not only cooking, but she was paying attention to everything going on around her. I know that although I might not be in the room, I generally can pick up on everything. I listen even when people think I’m not. Sarah was the same! She heard Him say that they would have a son. And as Sarah processed these words through all the facts of her life- the age, the barrenness, the fact that she tried and failed for MANY years, the fact that she’d never seen an old woman get pregnant before, the fact that she had heard this word before and still nothing came from it- she couldn’t help but to laugh at the complete absurdity of it. This just didn’t make sense! How could she have a baby?
One thing God had to show me, in the middle of my doubt party, in the middle of my unbelief fest, is that when He gives me a word, a dream, a call, or a vision, who am I to disqualify myself? Is He not strong enough, is He not powerful enough to perform ANYTHING? It says in Mark 9:23 “Anything is possible if a person believes.” ANYTHING. Jeremiah 1:12 says that God watches over His plan to perform it in our lives. It’s HIS responsibility to make happen what He calls us to.
So often, we call ourselves to things, they fail, then we want to doubt God. I’ve learned that you can’t blame God for the failures of your own plans. But when God makes a plan, when He gives you a purpose and He calls you, it doesn’t matter how absurd it is, how laughable it seems, or how under-qualified that you may feel, GOD will make it happen.
Looking at Sarah again, God did exactly what He said He would with her life. She had a baby. She who was old, she who had been barren, she who had tried and tried and failed, she who others laughed at and ridiculed. SHE had a baby all because God is faithful to His word.
As I step past my lack of faith and my doubt to do what God is calling me to do, I’m learning that He meets me every single time. He shows me how although I’m not qualified, HE is. And His qualifications are more than enough!
Where in you life are you struggling to believe God? What has He called you to or what has He said about you that you just can’t believe? How have you learned to trust God when He calls you instead of doubting? I want to hear from you as always! Comment below!
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